let off v the coast is clear, there's no one to hear, it's safe to 'let off', especially when you haven't had the chance for a while and the pressure has been building
let Polly out of jail v rather talkative botty burb with plenty of character
let rip v to expel excess gas with enough force to "rip" one's pants.
lingerer n no, it still smells in there even after half an hour
lit the match v to fart so violently it actually ignites the match. Do not try this one at home
L.O.G. v Letting One Go. Being powerless to might of the Fart
lonesome fart n One who farts freely and wishes there was someone else with them so they could at least be embarrassed
low rider v very low pitched and noticeable, may cause rumbling of the cheeks, best on leather couches.
M
machine gun n rapid succession of ballistic farts
Mariah Carey v many people think Mariah is named after the wind. In fact it is because she is like a high pitched squeal emitted from the arse capable of shattering glass
matchlighter n a fart only released by a person by the name of Corey
Mexican Fart n you fart, then the person next to you farts and then their neighbour farts and so on around the room, the cumulative smell of which brings tears to the eyes
mmmBop n sounds like the chorus to that Hanson song, usually occurs in rounds
monkey claw n feels like a thousand monkeys are trying to tear up your colon (though how you might know this is anybody's guess)
musky turnip n smells like your grandmothers bedroom closet
N
nasty n, adv. particulary pungent, first use linked to bad tempered tennis star, Ille Nastase
nut knocker n, adv. when gaseous emmisions pass by testicles with too much force
O
open yer lunchbox v to let off a fart reminiscent of yesterday's egg sandwich.
one cheek sneak v to lift one buttock in order to ease the quiet expulsion of gas
P
pant ripper n the combination of corrosive gases and powerful action mean this fart is Calvin Klein's nightmare
parp v a new manifestation of road rage, drivers release this fart when some idiot pulls out in front of them
patuni n foreign for fart, possibly onomatopoeic, ie sounds like what it is
passing gas v to give gas to someone else
pedo v viento ligero que sale del ahujero y anuncia la cagada (couldn't have said it better myself)
peeling the paint off the wall v a fart so bad it bruises your bum cheeks and fills the air with a flagilant odor, causing the paint to exit the drywall
peep v when birds fart
peter v released during a good laugh, often accomapnied by a bit of pee
piffle n, small, feminine and baffled by the gusset
pip v tiny, almost imperceptable, fart
pipe rotter v lesser known reason for many diseases of the bowel
plopal v an uncomfortable feeling of something more than just gas
pocket frog n the noise made by a captive amphibian
poketoot n small, Japanese, over rated and everywhere
poop gopher n when you fart and a little brown fellow just pops out his head
poot n a cute little fart, often applied to yappy little dogs when they are sleeping
pop n when you feel gasier and gasier until finally 'POP!'
pop off n derived from the Russian, popov, for small inconspicuous fart
pump n adult posh name for small squeaky fart
pyroclastic flow v The fart typically moves at speeds of over 60 miles per hour (100 km/hr) and reaches temperatures of over 800 Degrees Farenheit (400 degrees celsius).
Q
quack n bird-like in the wet, waddling sense
queef n not really a fart in the Biblical sense, this is a noise made by females, suffice to say it tickles
quiffer n done in the bathtub, accompanied by a blast of bubbles
R
Rabbi rattler n on Yom Kippur, to hurry up the sermon from the Rabbi so you can exit the 'gog' to facilitate an early breaking of the fast i.e. reload !
racing stripes n tracks left in the underwear of one who 'follows-through'. Often described as the Turin Shroud of Farts
Rapid Fire n repeat action, high velocity, as used by the Royal Marines
Raspberry n Succulent soft fruit ~ Two Ronnies style farting sound made with the tongue
Remote Controlled Fart Machine n simply the funniest gag of this or any other millennium
rhino stopper v A fart so pungent it can stop a charging Rhino. A very rare fart, in fact there have only been two independantly witnessed 'Rhino Stoppers' in recorded history
rip n short, sharp retort sounding like tearing linen
ripper n see above, now stop submitting it
ripsnorter v Very loud fart, large quantity of gaseous emmisions usually applied to pirates, medieval kings, crazed despots and ballet dancers.
Rolling Dutch Oven n winding up the windows in the car to allow the passenger no respite from your noxious fumes, see Dutch Oven qv
rose n your own fart is a rose by any other name
room clearer n self explanitory
Rooter n medium fart, occaisionally overheard in quiet libraries
Rumble in the Bronx n A fart that is so powerful, if you are sitting down, it will shake whatever shelter you are in
rumbler n long lasting fart that rumbles anything or anyone out of the way and lasts a whole minute!!
S
salsa n when your ass cheeks flap at a very high rate like you're livin' the vida loca.....extremely dangerous
S.B.D. n Silent But Deadly, There's something in the Geneva Convention about this one.
scooter v Someone who just dashes past whilst farting and leaving a horrendous smell
Scud Missile n You know it's coming, but there is sod all you can do about it
scutters n, v especially wet and leaky, having 'the scutters' is a bad thing
Seismic n when someone sharing the same piece of furniture exclaims,"Hey! I felt that!"
shot a bunny euph. a fart sedately dropped by an upper class lady
shower fart n wettest of them all. Occur during showering process or slightly after. Bubbling may occur.
silent but violent n a fart stealthy in volume yet supremely pungent in odour, cinema goers curse
skunk n emits a fine and noxious spray with a sssssssssss sound
sledgehammer n so smelly that when wafted into someone's face they instantly recoil, complaining that the smell felt like a sledgehammer blow to the nose. Give yourself a pat on the back for this one.
sleeping fart n when you wake up coughing and fart at the same time.
soup cooler n To fart with ones bumcheeks slightly parted. The net effect is a silent breeze suitable for blowing over a bowl of hot soup
sneezenfart v see kachoo
Snickers blast n a huge, tremendous blast so deadly it can rip a hole through the fartee's pants (sometimes occurs with brown chunks)
Snickerdoodle n the type of name for a fart one uses when having fart wars
sonic blast n Smell followed by sonic boom, for use only on Concorde
spank fart n happens when your Mum spanks you. The implications for future normal development are bad
spoofy n a fart in comic imitation of someone
sputter v A rapid "putt putt putt" from the rear
squeek n so much more than just the sound a mouse makes, this little beauty is likely to clear your house of vermin
stainer n capable of writing your initials in polycotton
stinger n combines a sound and scent with a strange sensation
string of pearls n many small bubbly farts released in quick succession as if a string of gas pearls are being pulled from your bum
supersonic n swift and decisive squirt of air
T
tanker n, sounds like a Mack Truck burning rubber, smell also reminiscent
tear jerker n, literally brings tears to the eyes. Good for use in a Dutch Oven qv
three, two, one, Blastoff n, v Three little farts followed by one big one
thrifty n one who always has farts in store
Tommy Squeaker n long whining sound, always gets a laugh when friends stay over, but usually hums like roadkill
toothless speech, the n, v when the great toothless
one makes a loud, unpleasant oration
tootrun n three or more consecutive farts released whilst jogging
touching cloth n, v one of the follow through variety
toxic streamer n silent fainter, deadly as nerve gas, whatever you do, don't cross the streams!!!!
traf n a schoolboys hot gust that blows easily out of the side of short grey trousers early on a cold February morning
trouser cough n often covered with a pretend mouth cough (rumoured to be the Queen's favourite ruse)
trouser trumpet n often covered with a brass band (rumoured to be Alan Titchmarsh's favourite ruse)
trump n a jolly, social fart, used on Bridge evenings
turtle head n the uncomfortable feeling that something more than gas might pop out when you next fart
twang n as if a Banjo resides in your pants. Results in involuntary farts at the mention of Deliverance or George Formby
V
Very Sore Fart n when old bits of poo stick to your bum hole then when you fart your bum cheeks rub together and the sharp bits of poo scratch
W
water fart n leaves you with that uncomfortable hot feeling that you might have peed your pants
wet one n leaves your bottom suspiciously moist
wet willy n warm, wet and powerful, responsible for much freak monsoon weather
whopper n very large fart which whops you round the head
window rattler n gusty
windy v to be gassy. n, large botty breeze, brisk at first, gusting force 8
Worthington Wallop v happens after ten pints and ten hours later you fart and the wife wallops you
Z
zipper n, when you have just gotten into your sleeping bag and zipped it right up in order to fart and let it leak out slowly, good for sleepovers
zump n short, sharp and squeaky